Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
