never play flip cup with pint glasses
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
