you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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