i don't like sucking hair
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
