Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
