put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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