How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
