dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
