Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
