And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
