I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
