she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
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