GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Pants are for mortals
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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