I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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