We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
