dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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