there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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