have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
