What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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