She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
