And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I believe in your delicious
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
