i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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