idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize