im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize