The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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