She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Someone signed my nipple.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
