So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
