My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
