I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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