The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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