so explain again why im purple
no
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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