it was like eating out sand paper
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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