We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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