i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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