ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
