I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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