You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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