we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Someone came in the potted fern
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
