i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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