I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize