So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
