I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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