The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
