We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
