This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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