You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
