Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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