Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
