Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
