So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
