very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I wear drunk well.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
