Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
