I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
