he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
