Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
