i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
