i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
