First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
