I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize