I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
