i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize