is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
