On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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